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Kolkata: Mamata Banerjee has acknowledged that this decision could be a double edged sword, but she has put her trust in the reporters of Bakchod Khabar. She has hired all the reporters of this blog for her upcoming TV channel and newspaper.

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The same reporters would cover news and produce content for the TV channel as well as for the newspaper. Complete freedom would be given to this small group of reporters to malign her opponents.

However, no cartoons would feature in the newspaper, even if they have all the potential to malign her opponents. “The cartoon row has scarred her for life. Even Tom and Jerry cartoons scare her now”, an associate of Mamata said on condition of anonymity.

What really impressed Mamata was the manner in which Bakchod Khabar could report against anyone and get away by just mentioning at the end that the news has got nothing to do with reality. “That is going to be our USP. The people are idiots. They never read till the end of the story. You can write any idli dosa sambhar after the opening paragraph”, she confided in the editor-in-chief of the blog.

When reminded that TV viewers could end up watching the complete news, she ordered the editor to carefully study the disclaimers in the commercials of insurance and investment companies. The editor claims he could not understand a single word in the disclaimers which were spoken faster than the speed of Chacha Chaudhary’s brain.

She was visibly furious when reporters reminded her that the launch of these media houses would be a waste of tax payer’s money. “Apna hawai chappal khol kar maarungi. Newspaper reports would be written sitting at home. Outdoor TV news would be made right on the roof of the channel building. Everyone does it, including the respectable and reliable India TV.”

The reporters of Bakchod Khabar are not rejoicing though. One of the star reporters revealed that they were not offered the job but were blackmailed into accepting it because of an old report in which Didi was labeled as a leader with dictatorship tendencies.

“We should have used Mayavati instead of Mamata in the reports. They are anyways turning out to be similar”, rued the reporter.

As if to justify the reporter’s comparison, our sources say Mayavati has started a blog on Blogspot.

Note: This news story has got nothing to do with reality. This is just a figment of my imagination. Laugh and let laugh.

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