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New Delhi: If rumors are to believed, it is not the Army Chief the Government fears. It is in fact the Supreme Commander of the armed forces, the President of India, Smt. Pratibha Patil who poses the real threat of staging a coup.


The Government is looking into her past statements wherein she had said that she would not be a rubber President. Since she has done nothing till now to prove that, the Government secretly fears she is reserving her best for the end as she is the actual commander of the armed forces. Mrs. Patil is set to retire in July this year.

Rumors are also rife that the Government could press for impeachment of the President or even amending the constitution and scrapping off the post of the President. However, the biggest hurdle in the process could be UPA’s ally Mamata Banerjee who is pressing for a second term for Mrs. Patil. Mamata’s sudden support is what has sent the Government into a frenzy.

Critics say that Mamata is eyeing an opportunity for herself if ever a coup is staged. Of late, she has shown tendencies of dictatorship and one of her close aides has revealed that she has always considered herself smarter than Pratibha Patil.

A cabinet minister on condition of anonymity told Bakchod Khabar, “We should have understood the signal when that supernatural power had indicated to the President that she was set for greater responsibility. She has deceived us with her frail and useless personality.”

The CID which has been handed the responsibility of investigating this issue has suggested that the 2009 President’s Rule in Jharkhand was actually an internship in disguise for Mrs. Patil. Pradyuman, the ACP of CID went on to add, “We are studying the video footages of those award ceremonies in which the otherwise dumb President is seen whispering something to the army heads while giving them the awards”.

The Government is treading with caution on every issue related to the President. Latest reports coming in say that the Government has gone against the protocol and has cancelled the allotment of the post retirement home to Mrs. Patil in Pune as it belongs to the defence. Sources reveal that the Government is afraid that a defence land could give rise to wicked ideas in the President’s mind.

Last heard, the President was in Odisha for the test launch of Agni-V. Digvijay Singh, the Congress General Secretary texted Bakchod Khabar saying, “Had we received this news a few hours earlier, we would have sent her on a test ride too.”


Note: This news story has got nothing to do with reality. This is just a figment of my imagination. Laugh and let laugh.