Lucknow: The Election Commission of India (ECI) has come up with a ‘symbolic’ strategy for the 2012 elections in Uttar Pradesh for fair and unbiased elections. It has decided to change the election symbols of political parties in the state. Bahujan Samajwadi Party’s ‘elephant’ symbol would now be Congress’s election symbol and BSP has been given Samajwadi Party’s ‘cycle’ symbol.
The ECI says that this drastic step has been taken because of numerous complaints regarding the pink covers used to cover the elephant statues in various parks built by Mayawati.
“Sushri Mayawati is known for her love for the pink color. So, covering the statues with pink covers would not serve the purpose. But since a lot of money has already gone into covering them, we cannot change the color of the covers yet again. Hence we have decided to change the election symbols itself”, says Shahabuddin Yaqoob Quraishi, the Chief Election Commissioner of India.
The decision has received mixed reactions from the various political parties. Chief Minister Mayawati expressed displeasure at the turn of events. “How can they suddenly bring me down from an elephant to a bicycle? The voters would be deceived. If it was the cost of changing the color of the covers which prompted this action, they should have told me. I would have paid from my own pocket.”
She also noted that the elephants might be covered in pink, but her own statues were draped in blue. Almost as a response to this, the ECI has directed Mayavati’s statues to be replaced with Rahul Handi’s statues within a week.
The Congress is elated at the turn of events. A Congress candidate on condition of anonymity said, “To be honest, we did not really expect to win this election. We were just faking the confidence. We expected 80% of the votes in favor of BSP. With this KLPD for the BSP, we now expect those 80% of the votes for Congress.”
Most of the media has abstained from reporting on this change. A furious BSP MLA blamed the Congress for this. “Till now the Congress indulged in ‘paid news’. Now they have started paying for ‘no-news’. But it won’t affect us. Anyways the public watches only Big Boss and reads only about size zero actresses. They wouldn’t get to know of this change anyways.”
The Congress has washed its hands off the paid ‘no-news’ affair but has expressed happiness at the media not reporting this change. On being reminded that The Hindu newspaper has dedicated a whole page to this report, Congress heavyweight Rahul Handi said, “Who reads that newspaper anyways? It only makes you sleep.”
The Samajwadi Party which was given the ‘hand symbol’ has left their fate to the Gods. A visibly hopeless Mulayam Singh Yadav said, “It is all in the hands of the almighty. As of now we would look for a chance to shake hands with the Congress’”
The people remained unavailable for comments. Reliable sources say they are either busy watching the Roadies auditions or reading about Hritik Roshan’s son’s pet name naming ceremony.
Note: This news story has got nothing to do with reality. This is just a figment of my imagination. Laugh and let laugh.